Three Easy Ways to Die……………………….

1.    Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.
2.    Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.
3.    Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.


1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.


2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY


3. Three FASTEST means of Communication:

1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell a Woman
If you Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.


4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.


5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral: BE SPECIFIC


6. Let us be generous like this: Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says: we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says: No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says: No, we will
Just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says: No, we will LEAVE him
Because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.


7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.


8. Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE?
Answer: On their MARRIAGE.


9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and asks him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.


10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY twice.
Because as per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.